by Lachlan Davidson, 2003

 

Silence.

I fear it,

SO I avoid it with work,

Talk radio,

And music.

Safe when busy.

I fear

What I hear inside my head.

Questions,

Doubts,

Concerns.

All of, or about me.

Questions too hard to answer.

Doubts about who I think I am.

Concerns, Major ones,

About how I live my life.

They are always there,

lurking in the shadows of my mind.

But I keep them away,

Normally.

I forget those times,

When silence is thrust upon me.

Nothing to do,

But sit and think.

The unbearable thoughts crowd me as always.

But after the initial panic,

they settle.

And I find I can sort through them,

Like a pile of papers.

They start to fall into categories.

More manageable somehow.

Decisions gradually make themselves.

Some, at least.

I emerge,

Calmed and more ordered.

So I must remember,

That silence can be a great friend.

The true friend,

Who can tell you what you need to hear.

Don’t avoid it.

Don’t live there either.

Just let it help.

Listen in silence.